Activity 8.3 My Pleasant Personal Conferences

Tips for Delivering Difficult Feedback

1. Express empathy for the person’s problem, concern, or point of view.
2. Point out inconsistencies between the person’s values and their behavior.
3. Validate the reluctance to change as natural; but not beneficial to him/her.
4. Express confidence in the person’s ability to change.
5. Ask what he or she is willing to do differently.
6. Ask for a commitment to do it.
7. If willing, help the person fill out a “Contract for Change.” (Have the kids work from their own account so they have ownership and control over the content.)
8. Help the person with the items in the Tips to Achieve Success” column.
   1) Help kids decide what they really want in life and write goals to achieve it.
   2) Identify the positive skills they need to achieve their goals.
   3) Have kids practice the new skill(s) several times and praise their efforts.
   4) Track behavior and reward efforts.
   5) Hold a pleasant, personal conference with your child and use the steps of Positive Criticism and Difficult Feedback listed below when agreements aren’t met.